8 Ways of Enhancing Your EQ to Understand How Others Feel

Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to perceive, control, and evaluate your own or other’s feelings; for example, “I understand that I feel angry and hold myself back from speaking poorly to my child or my partner”. It also means in your relationships you can recognize how others feel; for example, “he is upset because of work and that’s why he’s not talking to me”, instead of imagining he has something against you.

 

The 8 Best Ways to Enhance Emotional Intelligence:

 

1. Don’t interrupt your interlocutor or change the subject

People who feel uncomfortable about a subject, their interlocutor, or the reactions that are triggered within them by a subject may want to avoid any emotions by interrupting or becoming distracted.

 

2. Don’t judge or change your feelings too quickly

Try to be in touch with your emotional world: this means not discarding your feelings before evaluate them. Healthy feelings often come and go naturally like a wave on the beach. Your goal is not to stop the wave before it reaches its highest point.

 

3. See if you can find correlations between your feelings and circumstances you’re re-living

When a tricky feeling occurs, ask yourself: ‘When did I feel like this before?’ This question can help you understand if your present emotional state reflects your current position, or if you’re carrying over feelings from the past.

 

4. Listen to your body

A knot in your stomach when you go to work can be a sign that your work is a source of anxiety. A flutter of the heart when approaching a beautiful face can be a sign of love. By listening to these sensations and the feelings that emerge, you will be able to chart your way not only on the basis of emotion but also of logic.

 

5. If you don’t know how you feel, ask someone else

People rarely understand that others can judge how they feel. When you feel confused and you can’t tell how others see you, just ask someone who knows you – and whom you trust – how you look.

 

6. Get in touch with your unconscious

How can you understand your unconscious feelings? Try free association. When you’re in a relaxed state, let your thoughts run freely and observe where they go. Analyze your dreams. Place a notebook and pen next to your bed and take notes of your dreams when you wake up. Pay special attention to dreams that are repeated or charged with intense feelings.

 

7. Ask yourself: How do I feel today?

Start weighing your overall sense of well-being on a scale of 0 to 100 and tally your score daily. If your feelings seem extreme, think about what ideas or associations can be connected to the emotions.

 

8. Know when to stop

Introspection is good, but it is even better to know when to stop. There’s a time when you have to turn your attention to the outside. Studies have shown that encouraging people to live with their negative emotions can improve their lives.

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